occupation: inappropriate friend who makes sexual jokes despite being a fucking virgin
Polar bears are so well insulated by inches of blubber and fur that their heat signature is nearly invisible through infrared photography. Source
(I’m a university student and of legal age, but I don’t drink so I don’t carry ID. I decide to treat myself to sone things from one of the more expensive stores in town, including a bottle of specialty brand cola. I go up to the register, and drop exact change on the counter. The cashier, an older woman, looks at the cola)
Cashier: Can I see some ID for this?
Me: …There’s no alcohol in that
(She looks at the bottle and reads the label, which clearly says *** Cola)
Cashier: Oh (scans it without a problem) How are you going to pay?
(I glance at the money on the counter)
Cashier: Oh, right
actual line from the show
is this show even real or
Hello, sir, you are an idiot.
my brother told me to design a poster for his student council campaign
he won the election and is now student council president
me as a teacher
Me talking to the director who made a movie about the book
me being a good friend
There are three types of people.
Prince Harry and John Barrowman both do a mutual high five/ass slap combo omg
Can we just appreciate that John smacked Prince Harry’s royal ass so hard that the guy actually had to rub himself a little while John waves his hand
Can we just appreciate that John smacked Prince Harry’s royal ass
It’s basically illegal not to reblog this.